Marriage is tricky. For one, it could be what you’ve been dreaming of since you were a little kid, which means that you’ve wanted it for most of your life. But on another note, marriage is hard work, and you may be blindsided if you don’t know what to expect once you’re in it. So, if you need a few tips on strengthening relationships, here are five that can be considered miracle workers in relationships:

Listen

Miscommunication and misunderstanding are the root causes of almost all marital problems. This is because people often take their partners for granted, especially when it comes to communicating in their daily lives. For example, your spouse wants you to listen while they talk, and you agree.

But instead of actively listening to what they’re telling you, all you do is nod and apologize even though you’re not sure what for. You won’t get anywhere if the words you hear enter one ear and exit on the other. After you listen to your spouse, comprehend what they’re saying, and respond appropriately. Working on your communication skills will help you keep your marriage strong.

Compromise

You have to know that you won’t always get your way, nor will your spouse. Marriage is a two-way street; you need to give way to one another at times, and if you can’t, you at least need to meet halfway. This will allow you to learn how to compromise with your spouse throughout your marriage.

Just like you worked together and reached a compromise for the white gold wedding band you got for your ceremony, you have to communicate when you decide important matters continuously. It’s unhealthy to always give way to your spouse, but it’s also bad if they always give way to what you want. Finding a healthy balance is key to having a strong marriage.

Appreciate

Being married is not a free pass to each other’s service. Even if your spouse’s love language is acts of service, all the time, effort, and energy they spend on helping you still warrant an appreciation. You can’t expect them to do things for you out of the kindness of their heart just because you’re now married to one another.

Contrary to what most people think, that’s not the way marriages work. Of course, in the beginning, you’ll still feel butterflies every time your spouse goes out of their way to make you comfortable and happy, but over time, it may start feeling like a chore for them, especially if you don’t show your gratitude.

Relationships are always a give-and-take. You aren’t entitled to each other’s time, effort, and energy, even if you’re now married. The sooner you understand the value of appreciating your spouse, the more that you can avoid getting into conflicts because of them. And hopefully, it’s something that your spouse believes in, too, so that you can both strengthen your marriage.

Choose

It has to be said that love is a choice. You don’t enter marriage because you were forced to do so against your will; rather, you chose to marry the love of your life because you can’t imagine a life without them. And you can also choose whether to stay married or if you want to leave the relationship altogether.

But because you want to make your marriage work, you have to put in the work. Every morning that you wake up next to your spouse, you need to choose to stay in your relationship despite the challenges that you’re going to face. Choose to love and be loved instead of going through life alone.

Love

In the end, love will prevail. But that’s always easier said than done because choosing to stay in a committed relationship takes hard work. Many people go into their marriage blind because they believe that their love for each other is enough to make their relationship last, but that’s not true at all.

Love isn’t just a given; it’s something that you have to decide to give and take deliberately. Of course, love isn’t meant to be difficult, so if it’s starting to feel like work that you can live without, then that warrants a serious conversation with your spouse. That talk can lead to one of two things: you either work through your issues or reach the end of your relationship.

Seeing as you’re looking for ways to strengthen your marriage, then you can take it as a sign that you still want your relationship to work. You have to know that it’s okay because relationships aren’t always easy, despite what the many romantic comedies might have led you to believe. If you genuinely want to love and be loved by your spouse, then you have to put in the work to make it happen.