It is completely understandable and common that parents tend to forget about themselves when they start having a child. It’s not only because they’re obligated to provide and be there for them, but more importantly, they’re willing to do all they can because of love.
But of course, you have to remind yourselves that you are just as important as your children. You won’t be able to do things for them if you yourself are not well. Despite sounding too consuming, it is more than possible to take care of yourself and your children simultaneously.
What to Know About Most Parents
Parents are always being judged. By their own parents, people from PTA meetings, colleagues. Judgment about parenting is always there. When a mother gives her all to her spouse and children, people would convince her that what she’s doing is wrong and tell her to lighten up. But once she practices self-care and prioritizes her career, some will call her irresponsible or selfish.
For stay-at-home dads, not to say they’re frowned upon, but some people still think it’s questionable for a man to be the one who stays home and attends PTA meetings because of old society’s gender role.
However, in this day and age, everything is acceptable and not at all surprising.
Self-care Is Not Selfish
Practising self-care is one of the best things you do for your family. Doing too much for the kids can cause burnout and might loosen ties. That’s why it is important to take regular days off. You could go on a date with your spouse to keep the spark alive or hang out with your friends to maintain your relationship.
Speaking to a trusted fellow adult about your struggles is very helpful as well. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Explaining why self-care is important to parents can be a long discussion itself.
With a routine and proper time management, life can be less stressful and even happier for the entire family. This way, everybody knows what to expect. Hence, less surprise, less confusion, more time saved. Plus, this can also teach your children about their time management on their own in school and for their chosen careers in the future.
There are many ways you can manage time since every parent, every family, is different. Basically, you have to know your priorities by heart. Parenting experts suggest that you can section your priorities into three categories.
The first section lists those things that must be taken care of as soon as possible. The second is those that you can do anytime during the week. Last are the ones that can be done anytime in the long run.
In your daily or weekly schedule, you can also add some me-time after dinner or before bed. During dinner time is when you can get to bond with your kids and observe their development. As they grow older, the time for yourself gets wider open.
Career and Hobbies
Whether you’re a career-centred or a stay-at-home parent, you can always find ways to make time for your hobbies and learn new things. Through this, not only is it good for you, but you can also inspire your children not to limit themselves to do whatever they’d love to.
Remember, children always mirror what adults are doing and how they’re reacting. By still prioritizing your career can also help them manage difficulties in the future. They will look back and think of the things you taught them.
Doing hobbies and keeping yourself healthy is an important thing to teach them. Such as taking care of your mental and physical health by taking a painting class or a program with a personal trainer.
There are many things you can do in your spare time, which would take a few hours. After then, you go back to handling your children with more confidence and less stress.
Being a parent is not easy. No parent is perfect. Therefore, you have to forgive yourself and accept the mistakes you make every once in a while. You sometimes stress out. You can’t help but lash out and accidentally scream at your children. Even arguing with your partner is unavoidable. Sometimes it gets loud that your children start to worry. But these are completely normal and fixable. So don’t beat yourself up.
As long as you openly communicate and don’t let pride get in the way, it’s all going to be okay. Apologize to your children so that they won’t bring that negativity as they grow up. In fact, fighting or arguing can be helpful for the family. Everyone learns to be stronger and more forgiving. It can tighten bonds and make you cherish one another.